I am so frustrated. I really want to make this happen. I don’t get why I cannot make this happen. Have you ever felt this way? Many of us have. However, some of us haven’t applied a very simple model to see if we can make whatever we are hoping to happen actually happen.
I often encourage people to apply the Control and Trying Model to their work and life. Here is how is works. Identify whatever it is that you are wanting to improve, or that is frustrating you, or that is wasting your time or that you would like to change and ask yourself:
Control and Trying – is it in your Control? Yes. And are you trying? Then that is great!
Control and Not Trying – is it in your Control? Yes. And are you Trying? No. Then this is where you should spend your time as it is an Opportunity.
No Control and Trying – is it in your Control? No. And are you Trying? Yes. This is where you should stop wasting your time, energy and effort. It isn’t in your control, yet you are trying. Please stop as you can’t control the outcome.
No Control and Not Trying – is it in your Control? No. And are you Trying? No. That’s fine. It is good that you have identified this as chosen to focus on things that you can control.
Where we need to focus our energy is on the things that are in our control and that we aren’t trying to influence as this is where opportunities are.
Here is an example, you would really like a new job. Is that in your control? Yes. Are you trying? Not really. Well, then try! Have you updated your resume? Are you registered on Seek for the job that you are looking for? Have you blocked out 1 hour a week to actively look for positions? Have you contacted a recruiter? There are opportunities out there for you.